Special Tribute to Sylvia Bresnik
By Pauline Angela Bresnik-Snasdell
Delivered on April 29, 2017 in Escondido, California
Do not let kindness and truth leave you, bind them around your neck and write them on the tablet of your heart. Psalm 3:3
That’s the verse my mom made us memorize that has become the rudder of my life. For some find it easy to be kind, and some find it easy to be truthful, but combining them both is a bit of trick.
We just want to thank you for being here today and for the kind words of those that couldn’t be here. And a special thank you to her sisters and niece and nephew who’ve flown from Ireland to be here. Our family is so grateful for all your support. My mom lived for your friendship.
My Mom LOVED people, especially little ones. As my friend Peggy said, Sylvia made you feel special. When you were with her, you felt that that moment was all that mattered.
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My mom was my best friend. She was all you needed. She ran and hiked with you. She swam and biked with you. She could rest with you, and shop with you; drink bellinis and watch movies with you. My mother was a woman of great understanding, who had known pain, but chose to resiliently focus on what was good. As our friend Carol said, Sylvia had great perspective. Her wisdom was that timely, perfect sentiment that kept you going.
My mom PREFERRED to be having fun, so when she needed to be serious I think she tried to be as efficient as possible! She gave her advice out in succinct one-liners. Her parenting advice was ‘Have few no’s but let them be no’; her life advice was ‘Remember, you BECOME what you focus on’ – so I’ve tried to make good choices. Whenever I was ruminating, she would toss out – a ‘Good solider never looks behind’ – which would always annoy me, but she was right. Why waste energy on the past? When I was worried about something she gently reminded me - ‘All we have is NOW.’ Enjoy the moment.
My mom was passionate about many things: sports, family, friends, FUN. As her friends Brenda and Patrick both pointed out, my mom always pushed the limits but she wasn’t above drafting you for the advantage. My Mom had amazing resilience, amazing strength. She ‘rested’ by swimming three times a week with her friend Kristi. She inspired me and so many others to be courageous and become the best version of themselves. As my cousin Sandra and our friends Karen and Phyllis reminded me, Sylvia didn’t take life too SERIOUSLY – she loved to laugh, play, eat and drink, and enjoy the time she had. She had nicknames for everyone in the family: Angie-pangie, Father John, Roberto, Polilol, Johnny-pon, Eli, Jules, Nicolioli, Bingy, Skylilil, Tata, Studlebug.
My mom lived a GREAT life. How she got through it we’ll never know. Her infamous sense of direction means she was always getting turned around - she once accidently wandered into Japan on her way to my brother’s wedding in Vietnam. She then had to stay the night because the immigration office had just closed, so it took her 16 hours to get back into the airport and we were lucky to SEE her again. She was OFTEN lost - sometimes in the forest, and sometimes in a garage sale!
As our friends Lizzie and Brian said, my Mom always gave her ALL. Whether that meant trying a new yoga class or testing a new wine, my mom was ALIVE. My mom was ALIVE until the moment she wasn’t. And that is her legacy. A lesser life would not have suited her, and so a part of me is comforted that she died on Easter Sunday, going down Champagne Blvd, doing what she loved.
I found a little card I wrote to her about 15 years ago that sums it up:
To the best mother, friend and person there ever was.
I love you
Pauline
